Tag Archives: Satire

BIHAR BOOZE BAN: A conspiracy against common Bihari

2 minute silence for those who thought that liquor ban in Bihar is an April fool prank done by Bihar govt. Being a thirsty Bihari who spends his evenings at ‘Chandan ka Dhaba’ where you can get alcohol as cheap as Aamras, I am deeply hurt. We have the richest cultural heritage of taking money as well as Murga and Daaru (shagun ke taur pe) for our precious vote. I was wondering why Bihar government is trying to change Bihar into Gujarat; there is not a single shit common between both the states. They have tigers; we have bhains, they have Amitabh Bachchan as their brand ambassador; we don’t even have a brand ambassador, they are cheap; we are poor and cheap.

Are we heading towards a state of chaos and anarchy? Imagine a bunch of people fighting for one sip of Old Monk, that’s just ridiculous.

Alcohol ban can have devastating consequences. A shaadi without daaru and orchestra (with noisy and raunchy Bhojpuri songs) is as offensive as inter-cast marriage in rural Bihar. You dare do it and the baraati will break every chair and table at the ceremony. It will also grievously affect our local politician’s career, now who will promise us muft ki daaru with butter chicken?

All you need to know about the total prohibition of alcohol in Bihar:

  1. You cannot drink liquor even at home (Come on! Go ahead! But make sure the windows are closed)
  2. Keeping liquor at home is also an offence (No worries, CBI will not raid your house, just bury it in the flower pot)
  3. If travelling to Bihar, you can’t bring liquor (Drink it before you enter Bihar)
  4. Exemption only to defence canteens. Liquor to be supplied to army personnel in bottles with broken seal (It’s time to call your chachi ke bhai ke wife ke cousin ke brother-in-law ka beta, who is in army)
  5. Liquor ban to cover foreigners as well (Lo BC tumko bhi nahi milega)
  6. For four- or five-star hotels, the ban means a revenue loss of up to Rs 2.5 crore each annually (Wait! Are there any five star hotels in Bihar?)


But since I’m in Delhi…I’m obligated not to give a shit. Beside, I’ve done my bit by giving free beer for the first 100 visitors.